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Goal Setting is Not About Pursuing Happiness

May 4, 2017

 

 

Everyone is familiar with “the pursuit of happiness”, whether it’s from the U.S. Declaration of Independence, or the numerous films, books, and songs that have adopted this phrase as their title. Yet, this notion of pursuing happiness is ineffective because it isn’t something to be sought after, rather it seeks you, and comes to you when you are ready for it.

 

If you are looking for happiness, it is safe to say that you are on some level unhappy or looking for change in at least some areas of your life. The first important thing to recognize is that it is impossible to feel true happiness without first healing the parts of yourself that feel unsatisfied. The past experiences that created a lack of happiness in the first place will stay with you until you heal them. And if left untended, the pain from these wounds defeats the ability to find happiness at all. Therefore, the goal isn’t happiness it’s healing.

 

I am so in love with the different forms of work I do that involve healing, mainly goal setting, yoga, and essential oils. This is what I believe we are all truly striving for, to heal our emotional wounds. These wounds can show up in the form of lack in self-confidence, poor nutritional habits, lack in motivation, and so on. 

 

Here, I want to shine a light on the true nature and impact of goal setting on the process of healing and fulfillment. Setting goals uplifts and allows us to get excited about the possibilities in life, rather than staying complacent or fixated on what isn’t going right. Truthfully, the goals that we set usually don’t happen in the way that we originally imagine (they often turn out better). To be in control of everything isn’t the intention of goal setting. The intention is to play with the Universe (or life, or whatever you feel comfortable calling it) and to show that you are open, ready, and willing to receive bigger and better experiences.

 

People are often afraid to set goals out of fear that they might not achieve them and then they might feel ashamed or embarrassed. So they remain in a place or position that they may not truly love because they’d rather be safe than sorry. This is one of the most limiting, yet prevailing, notions out there. Yes, we are safe when we stay right where we are inside our comfort zone and we diminish the likelihood of failing or getting hurt. But we certainly also won’t ever see how great we can be, which in the end becomes more painful than falling knowing we tried.

 

More importantly, who ever said that you have to jump into your goals and out of your comfort zone full throttle? All that’s required is to take steps, even if they are small steps, everyday, allowing you to remain curious. Then all of the sudden, you’ll find yourself standing in the middle of your dreams and you won’t even know how you got there.

 

At first, goal setting might sound conflicting with the theory of not pursuing happiness. But goal setting is about so much more than that; it’s about remaining open and taking steps toward healing and change so that happiness can find you (not you finding it).


If you're ready to heal and make changes in your life, I would love to be a support in your journey. Send me a message to kristen@skatetosoar.com and we can begin together, the process of bringing more fulfillment to your life, whether the focus is athletic performance or other. 

 

Much love, 

Kristen 

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